Kid at Heart

For those of you who are new to my blog and are unfamiliar with who I am, much of my existence revolves around my eleven year old son. Being single, I have him for visits every other weekend. This weekend was one of those regular visits.

I can't help but feel that I'm a good father. When he stays with me, we're inseparable. It didn't used to be that way. When I was in a relationship for four years, there are times when he would be over for the weekend, but I would find someone to babysit while I did things with friends. That is one thing in life I truly regret, and make up for it every time I see him. My priorities have been refocused to where they should be.

In my mind, it is one of the things which will likely keep me single for the near future. Rare is it to find a man who welcomes a child into his life...even rarer to find one who will accept the fact that, for me, that child has to come first. I know, I know...there are couples nowadays who (except in Florida) are adopting children and raising them together. The difference with this is that the relationship is firmly established between partners prior to the decision to add a child. In my case, the prospective guy has to accept a package deal...and I don't see very many of those men in Cincinnati.

I accept this fate willingly. God granted me the gift of a child. My love for him is far greater than anything I could ever imagine. If it means that I will be single for a while, so be it. That doesn't mean I won't have lonely periods...however, when those periods happen, the smile in my son's voice fill the void.

Oh, yeah...for those of you who have read my writings before, my apologies for restating my feelings. Know, however, that there are just a few special souls that touch one's life, and I'm proud to have the opportunity to shape and mold one of those souls into a good person.

And to Matthew...should you ever get to read my journal, know that I love you so much...you truly are my "son"shine!