Self-pity

On this day four years ago, I made a mistake...a mistake that has changed my life. Changed for the better? I don't believe so. I rocked my own world. Now I'm laying in the the bed I made. I'm certainly not happier. To this day I don't forgive myself. Where am I now?

Four years have left me in a world of self-pity. I put on a happy face, but I can still see the sadness in my eyes, hiding behind my smile. I certainly cry more often.

I'm also stuck in a life of self-doubt. I did it myself, I know. I don't feel like I'm worthy anymore. I wander aimlessly. I have no direction.

The one good thing I have in my life is the nonjudgmental love of my son. Thank goodness for that.

All I can say is I'm sorry. Maybe someday I'll be forgiven. Maybe somehow I'll atone for my mistake. Things will never be the same.